annexx

[annexx]

CONTENT: For some reason, the content seems overly dramatic to me. That's just my opinion. Your very first entry here seemed overdone. You tend to write like you're trying to impress people, and to me, it comes off as not "real". Now, please bear in mind that this is only MY opinion, and by no means should you take it personally. From what I read of your poetry, though you preface it, it is just words that seem to pop into your head without a specific meter or scheme. I guess that's o.k. Your archive page is a little screwy in that you have "There are no entries for this month." I'm not sure what to make of that. I guess you're just trying to be prepared or something. This entry was o.k., but it seemed, once again, like you are trying to write for an audience, and not for yourself. I didn't really learn a lot about you except that you like to use a lot of platitudes, and it seems to me, that you are trying to express yourself in a way that seems pretentious. It's as if you're trying to convince the world that you're smart. Sorry, and don't take this too hard, but in my opinion, your content is hard to grasp, and I couldn't really get into any of it. I think you need to take a class on Dickens to understand him better. I wasn't relating to what you said on his account. Certainly not what I've learned of Dickens, as illustrated in this entry. C'est la vie, though. Just not my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean others don't like your diary. Also, I don't like that you seem to have your right-click disabled. I wanted to actually place a quote in here, but no, no, no....couldn't do it.

Content Score: 25/45

EXPRESSION/PERSONALITY: I couldn't find a whole lot of personality in your diary. Most of your writing seems to be hinged on putting your words together to sound nice and "smart", but in the process, something gets lost. I suggest trying to write more as you, and not endeavoring to seem like an intellect. This entry really hit me that way. It seemed like you were writing to be overly expressive instead of being yourself- being Charlene. Too many analogies...for my taste anyway. They may work in other diaries, but not in this one...in my opinion. I know we don't grade on layout, but it's too simple for my taste. At least you don't have a stolen design anymore. ;)

Expression/Personality Score: 11/25

EXTRAS: Sorry to say this, but your extras links were, well, boring to me. I expected more spice, but I guess that's just your style.

Extras Score: 5/10

CONTACT: Guestbook, guestmap, notes, email. Some links there were broken, but I'm not sure if it's just my browser...still. I could not access the guestmap or the guestbook.

Contact Score: 5/10

LINK: Yep, it's there, and it takes me here.

Link Score: 10/10

OVERALL: I think that you have a lot of potential despite this review, and I suggest you improve your diary, and I will re-review you when you've made some progress. :) Please! Don't take it personally; I'm just very critical. If you didn't have talent, I wouldn't bother. Please improve and get another review. I'd love to see you reach your potential! It kills me to give you a low score, but I know that you are capable of so much more!

Score: 56/100

Reviewed on 2003-09-01 at 10:36 p.m. by Leslie Irene