we were meant to live for something more

CONTENT:This diary doesn't seem to be one that you record your life in. It seems to be something that you are using to hone writing skills, as you write in third person, but yet you aren't very descriptive. After reading all the entries in this diary, I don't feel like I know you at all, I don't know what you are like or what you do during the day. To me, as a reviewer, you are a faceless writer. There is nothing for me to hold on to. I think that you really need to add some details to your entries. Readers want an ongoing story when it comes to a diary. This doesn't really have a story.
15/45

PERSONALITY/EXPRESSION:Now, your entries seem to hold expression and emotion, but without details of the events, they are meaningless. I couldn't relate to anything you wrote about, because have withheld some of the most important bits in the story you are sharing your emotions on. But at the same time as sharing emotions with the reader, you detach yourself by using the third person. "She is feeling sad" for example has less emotion than "I am feeling sad". Please, give your reader something to relate to, something they can understand. It's hard to understand pure emotion without anything for it to stand against.
10/25

EXTRAS:Just a reviews page...
1/10

CONTACT:Notes and email. How about adding a guestbook?
6/10

LINK:On the reviews page.
10/10

TOTAL SCORE: 42/100

COMMENTS:I hate to give such a low score, but I feel as a diary, a place to share important events and emotions, this approach does not work well. You really need more real life in there. Feel free to request a re-review from another reviewer if you wish.

Score: 42/100

Reviewed on 2003-09-07 at 9:39 p.m. by Nicola